Relationship And Romances

Relationships and Romances

I thought that it might be interesting to take the concepts and studies originally covered during the viewing time of each film and apply them to the opposite film. For this, I have chosen Children of a Lesser God and When Harry Met Sally. Both films are similar enough in their theme - developing romantic relationships - but different in presentation, details, and characters (or are they?). Of all the films that we have watched, these two have had the strongest impact on my memory. As love stories they share many similar aspects concerning interpersonal communication, and generally go through the same pattern as far as the development of relationships. But it is in the character traits, situations, and details where major differences lie, leading me to think that beyond the ending of the films, the outcomes for the characters’ relationships will be vastly different.

As with all relationships, there is a period of interest, intrigue, and experimentation. This stage happens under different circumstances in the two films. In Children of a Lesser God, after some introduction, James and Sarah begin to date, and there is apparent interest from at least one of the characters. Things are different in When Harry Met Sally; though they have the opportunity to get to know each other much sooner in the story, there is no romantic interest to speak of, and even the chance of a friendship is lessened by the sharing of too much information too fast.

The difference that I see between these two relational beginnings is the amount of information that is disclosed during character introductions. Harry and Sally immediately discuss topics that are not generally acceptable to talk about during early relationships. Harry especially is up-front about certain personal details and topics that hinder the development of even a friendly relationship. This is his character, and fortunately for them, he and Sally will have more opportunities to learn about each other and adapt, though not by their own doing.

In Children of a Lesser God, James is more direct in showing and developing interest in Sarah. The most prevalent issue between them that I see is that Sarah has many barriers and baggage from her past. Her character is slowly revealed over a period of time, allowing many things to develop at a more comfortable pace, though key points are brought out rapidly under pressure. But, as James has taken the time to develop a care for Sarah, he is not as taken aback as perhaps Harry or Sally would be if in the same situation.

One of the signs of a good relationship and revealing of a person’s loving intentions toward another is confirmation, asserting the value of the other person in spite of opposite feelings or circumstances. When Harry Met Sally contains such an example in the scene where Harry comforts Sally after she discovers that her ex-boyfriend is getting married. Feeling low and unwanted, Harry affirms Sally’s qualities. This scene is one of the moments where Harry’s deeper feelings are made known to the audience; it is not a simple, physical attraction that he has for Sally; it is a friendship, and he values her for who she is.

Children of a Lesser God also has an instance of affirmation, though it serves a different purpose. While both Harry and James are affirming Sally and Sarah’s worth, James is sharing his feelings for Sarah while helping her overcome a much deeper issue. Sarah was used by many boys in her youth, and has developed a long standing view that she is simply an object, not worth anything more. Not only does James tell her that her past doesn’t matter to him, affirming his feelings, but he also asserts that Sarah is extremely intelligent; she is more than just an object, she is a person, a mind.

The manner of communication and adaptation of the characters differed greatly in each film, specifically in regards to the culture and world in which the characters exist. This is more apparent in Children of a Lesser God, as the relationship is between individuals of two distinct cultures, that of the hearing world and of the deaf. Because of this difference, both James and Sarah have to make concessions to accommodate each other’s social and recreational activities. James enjoys music by listening, this is not something that Sarah is able to do. Likewise, parties that Sarah attends are silent, as they generally consist of people of the deaf community, where there is no music or verbal communication. There are greater barriers and compromises necessary, not simply emotional and communicative progress, to be made in such a relationship.

When Harry Met Sally does not seem to contain as great a variance in culture between the two. In fact, one of the things that pulls the audience in is hoping that the two end up together because they are nearly identical personalities. But this is not made apparent at the beginning, where the greatest differences are shown. The differences are of personality and presentation, which may have something to do with family or group (gender) culture. Harry tends to be more pressing and open about many things to an uncomfortable level. It is not that Sally wouldn’t mind discussing such topics, but the introduction of these things so early is uncommon in a majority of cultures, and Sally is turned off by Harry’s unusually approach to conversation. Although, Sally does open up and share as time goes on. With Harry and Sally, the similarities that they share gradually become more apparent, and the two are allowed to grow together over much time without the pressure of a romantic relationship. They share common friends and take part in the same activities. Ultimately, culture is not an issue for Harry and Sally. It is a factor of their success.

This is what the book refers to as the bird-of-a-feather